A note that I cant let my parents see

It will be my lifetime duty to show gratitude for raising me up. For being the strength while I was building my own walls. For standing strong against any danger beyond the comfort of your loving arms. And for the unconditional love that is incomparable.

I will not be this person if it wasnt for you. I honestly find it a hard task to compensate all the sacrafices you have done. And I was hoping that you will somehow see how much I am trying.

I couldnt ask why you look so tired and why do I come home with your frown. I was hoping for your excitement to see me. I was waiting to catch up with your questions about work. I was hoping you would ask how did I go after a long day. I should understand how tiring it is to keep up the house, to think of the bills, and to overcome another day. I hope you will believe me if I say I was thinking the same thing the whole day.

I end up confused everytime we both try to explain how much we both think of each other's sake. We end up with nothing and choose not to talk and leave it misunderstood.

I am trying hard to keep you a proud mom and dad. But I tend to lose the streak of being the good daughter after one failure. Disappointment was easier to achieve.

I am trying to get the smile, the interest, and understanding. But it's all hidden underneath the expectations.

I am sorry if I can only do so much. I am trying my best. I cannot always be the good one. I sometimes make the wrong decisions and choose to do things that will disappoint you. But I hope you can see how much I am trying, all these failures were out of the pressure of keeping up with how you are expecting me to be.

I am sorry. And I will try again.

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